Hot Fuss
by Misha Schmidt
Summary: It's been 3 years since James saw Kendall. Now, Kendall's back, more famous than James. Three years has changed them both, yet they can't deny the sparks... But what if it's too late? Kames, smut, *now a two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Can I just begin by saying that this is the most embarrassing story I have ever written? For me, that is. All the information on gay porn sites, is not from my knowledge. I will _not_ say where it's from... oh my God this is so embarrassing. Still, I've been working on this story for a while, and I must admit, it's like my baby. My very gay baby LOL.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the porn sites Brazzers, Men . com , Tyler St. James (yes he's real). I also don't own the names Hot Fuss (The Killers' first album) nor do I own Lovesick Electric (Hot Chelle Rae's first album). I don't own the song used, One Way Or Another by Blondie.**

**I'm just going on a whim here and posting it. I wrote this about two or three months ago... Finally got the urge to post it. Please, please enjoy :)**

**Hot Fuss**

* * *

_Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different?_ - Prince Caspian, by C.S. Lewis

* * *

James enters the office, peering around the door frame, looking at his boss. "Sir? You wanted to see me?"

Mr. Stetson looks up, distractedly, removing his glasses from his nose and placing them on his head. "Hmm? Oh yes, come in, James. I need to talk to you."

Mr. Stetson was 23 years, barely a year older than James, and a thousand times richer. He smiles at James as the boy sits, his tight, _tight_ jeans cutting into his stomach and slightly suffocating him.

"Yes, Mr. Stetson?" James says, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"James, how many times will I tell you to call me Jett?" Jett says, folding his hands in front of him. "You know we're planning on expanding our gay porn videos here at Brazzers. So, we're getting the head porn star from Men . com to come here on a contract, and all of his scenes are going to be with you."

James shrugs. Gay sex is way better than normal sex. He'll take a sexy guy on his lap any day. "Cool."

"The guy's porn name is Hot Fuss. Ever heard of him?"

Hot Fuss... _where_ had James heard that before?!

_"All the girls looove me, Kendall. I'm a hot fuss," fifteen year old James bragged to his blonde friend._

_Kendall laughed, rolling his eyes. "I think you mean hot mess, Jamie."_

James frowns, his heart racing. It has to be a coincidence, right? _Right?_

The last time he saw Kendall was when they were nineteen. It was the worst day of his life. The day he'll regret forever. He was so stupid.

"...James?" Jett's voice broke through the boy's reverie.

"Yeah?" James says, mind racing non-stop. It can't be Kendall. How is that even possible? It was nothing more than a mere coincidence.

"His real name is Kendall Knight, James."

_What_? James tries to reason with himself. There are probably tons of guys with the name Kendall Knight.

James feels like crying.

"There's a _reason_ he's the best in the business, James," Jett says, oblivious to James' mental breakdown, pushing a small picture towards him. "He's smoking hot, and all the men _and_ women love him. He's exactly what we need at our business. He's expensive, but once he's here, it'll be worth it."

James gulps, before taking a look at the picture. And once he sees it, he feels like crying. It's his Kendall. The blonde hair was darker, and green eyes more intense, but he could still see _his_ Kendall there.

Kendall was naked, but one of his hands was in front of his junk, the other, by his mouth, in a fake-gasping motion, green eyes blazing.

James can't stop staring at it.

Jett pulls it away, and James realizes that his mouth is hanging open idiotically. "That's the picture on the cover of Men . com, James. I'd show you the one where he's fully naked with his entire hand in his ass, but you might cum, just looking at it," he says wryly, and James blushes.

"Jett... I know this is big for Brazzers and everything, but... can't you choose someone else?"

Jett's eyes widen. "Why? Kendall requested the best, in fact, actually, he requested _you_."

Oh _fuck_.

His face probably showed his shock, because Jett asks, "What's wrong, James? He's practically the hottest man on the planet."

"He- I- _We_ used to be best friends..." James swallows; his brain feels like it's going to explode.

"Wha- _Oh_," Jett says, understanding. "Used to be? What happened?"

"We... we both just turned nineteen. It was the four of us. You know Logan, he's your secretary, there was Carlos, he was so childish everyone just had to love him, there was me, and then there was... Kendall. Kendall and I... we were sort of dating and they got drunk, but I didn't, because I was supposed to drive them back to their houses. And then one of my ex girlfriends came and kissed me and I kissed her back, and Kendall saw. I blamed it on the alcohol but we both knew I didn't drink a drop. I regretted it ever since. We didn't talk after that fight, and _I miss him so much_."

James wipes straying tears away, as he looks at Jett, who looks at him with a sad look on his face.

"James, I wish I could help you, but-"

"Mr. Stetson?" Logan, Jett's assistant, peered around the corner, eyes wide and shocked. His eyes dart to James, for a millisecond before, "Someone is here to see you."

James sits up. No. This can't be happening. His heart begins to pound in his chest as if it were trying to beat the way out of his chest.

Jett spares a glance at him, and Logan disappears, before his figure is replaced by another. James' throat goes dry and his mouth drops open when he sees Kendall.

He's wearing _short_ shorts, so short you could see the curve of his ass, and a see-through oversized vest, with combat boots laced to the knee. Through the shirt, James could see a piece of the G-string that Kendall's wearing.

Fucking sexy.

James tears his eyes away from Kendall's body, looking over at Jett, who, to his surprise is shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Jett, who can watch girls and boys fuck each other and not twitch a muscle, was even the slightest bit turned on by Kendall Knight.

Kendall glances at James, a smirk playing on his face. He walks into the room, sitting on the couch, his never ending legs draping over the handle of the chair.

"James," he acknowledges, the brunet's name rolling off his tongue with ease. He turns to Jett, who's pulling at his pants. James looks down at his own in dismay, even through the tight material; you could see his half boner tent.

"Jett," Kendall purrs, and the guy swallows, hard, before finding his voice.

"Mr. Knig- Kendall," he corrects, at the boy's glare. "We at Brazzers are so happy to have you here. All your shots are going to be with James here, who I understand you have a long history with-"

He's cut off when Kendall swings those pale legs of his on the ground, standing up, sauntering over James. "Jamie," he coos, and suddenly James can't breathe. He dangles a leg over James' lap, straddling him. "What's it been? Like 3 years?" He cocks his head to the side, but James can't find his voice.

Kendall licks along the side of James' neck, the brunet shuddering under his touch. James looks over at Jett, but the guy is just watching them with wide eyes.

Kendall leans forward, till his lips are millimetres from James'. He could feel James' desire emanating in the air, he looks into James' eyes, seeing the want there. James' pulse is racing, and Kendall leans forward-

-And passes his lips to go to his ear, biting his lobe softly, and James moans, head dropping forward.

"Think you'd get me back so easy, Jamie?" He breathes into James' ear. "Now you're _my_ bitch."

James' breathing gets ragged, and he chokes when Kendall thrusts downwards onto his crutch. Kendall gets up, winking at James, hand swinging and 'accidentally' hitting something from Jett's desk onto the ground. He bends down, wiggling his ass at James, and the brunet clutches the chair handles so tight, that his knuckles turn white.

Kendall's a fucking tease and he knows it.

When the blonde straightens up, he winks at James, swaggering out of the door.

James meets Jett's eyes, both pairs wide and their breathing ragged.

James tugs at his painful erection, hating the tight pants, unable to get Kendall's green eyes out of his head.

He was so screwed.

...

The next morning, Jett finds James the second he walks into the building. James rubs the sleep from his eyes, clutching his coffee tightly.

"James, today, you will start with a photo shoot, leading to a sex scene, and then that will be it for the day, okay?"

James grins, pearly whites shining, following Jett as he begins to walk towards the main area. "Who is it today? Megan? Oooh, I _love_ anal with Heather. Her ass is practically perfect. Maybe Mark-"

"James," Jett cuts in, glaring at him. "Have you already forgotten? You have to-"

"Hey Jamie," a smooth voice cuts in, and James looks up, to see Kendall standing there with nothing on but an extremely tight black pants.

James can't stop staring at the blonde's chest, the V of his hips leading down into his pants-

James is rudely interrupted from his stare-fest, when his coffee cup slips out of his hand, and crashes to the ground, splattering over his new Vuitton shoes. He looks down at his shoes in dismay, but Jett grabs his hand, pulling him along.

"Come _on_, James. You need to get dressed. Someone will clean that up."

Fifteen minutes later, and Calypso (the hair dresser/make-up artist) has him in the same pants as Kendall, and she's placed bow-ties around their necks.

"More eyeliner, babe," Kendall says, waving his hands to Calypso, who rolls her eyes, grinning. James raises an eyebrow. Calypso was such a _bitch_ to him, why is Kendall any different? He bites his lip. He can't even watch Kendall straight in his face, how was he supposed to have sex with him?

This was going to be a total disaster, he knew it.

Calypso comes up to them, and tells them to stand side by side. James gulps as Kendall stands next to him, pressing their arms together. Calypso grins a toothy smile; her glossed lips stretching thin, as she raises her hand and sprays them with something.

It's cold, and James flinches but Kendall barely reacts.

"What the _fuck_ is that, Cal?" James growls out, and she sends him a death glare.

"It's _edible_ glitter, James," she says dropping Kendall a glittery wink.

Oh shit.

Kendall smiles at her, looking at James, green eyes wide and innocent. He was a tease and he fucking knew it.

"Boys!" Jett snaps and James rolls his eyes. Jett's such a prissy bitch when he's ready.

They walk into one of the hundreds of bedrooms that the building had. There's a bunch of people standing there already, looking bored, with cameras and computers.

For the first time _ever_, nervousness is clawing its way up James' back, and he gulps.

A girl bounces up to them, a smile on her face. "Hi, Kendall. I'm Jackie and I'm a lesbian."

Kendall blinks, looking at her weirdly. James clears his throat. "All the employees of Brazzers are mandated to introduce themselves along with their sexuality. It helps clear things up."

Kendall just spares him a brief glance, before turning back to Jackie, a small, flirty smile playing on his lips.

"Well, _Jackie_, I'm Kendall, and I'm pansexual," he says, winking at her, and she blushes. James' mouth drops open.

How could Kendall get a _lesbian_ flustered?!

Un-fucking-believable.

She bites her lip. "Stop that," she says, grinning. "You're making me question my sexuality. So I'm gonna take pictures, you could pose any way you want, and whenever you're ready, you could have sex. There are cameras videotaping for the entire thing, so if you need to stop, just tell us, okay?"

Kendall nods, grinning at her, and James is just there, shocked.

"C'mon, Jamie," Kendall calls, standing by the bed, gesturing over to James. James walks over to him, and they look at each other, not knowing what to do.

Jackie rolls her eyes. "Kendall, pull James in. James, rest your head on Kendall's shoulder."

James looks at the blonde, and he reaches out, pulling the brunet in. James places his head in the crook of Kendall's neck, and they fit perfectly, like a puzzle. Kendall wraps his hands around James' torso, and suddenly James feels the guilt he's tried to push down for forever, rise up in him, and he lets out a broken sob, and Kendall's grip tightens around him.

"Jamie?" Kendall whispers, and James moves his head from Kendall's shoulder to Kendall's forehead.

He's trying to fight the tears, because it's a sex scene for Christ's sake. "Baby, I'm sorry. I was so stupid. I- I can't even tell you how guilty I feel."

"Jamie, I forgave you the second I saw you yesterday."

James chokes, and he's so fucking happy, he kisses Kendall. Kendall immediately responds, and whatever flame or spark they felt at nineteen years, it hadn't disappeared. James' hands trail down to Kendall's ass, hoisting him up, the blonde's long legs wrapping around his torso, and James folds his hands tight around the boy's waist.

_This_ is what James sacrificed, when he kissed that girl. _This_ is what he gave up. _This_ is what he's been missing out on for the past three years.

Suddenly he fucking hated himself.

Kendall is grinding down on him, pulling at his hair, and scratching down his back, mewling like a little kitten. James can't ignore him, he pulls Kendall even closer, trying to convey his love by pressing his lips harder against Kendall's.

They pull apart and rest their heads against each other again.

"I missed you baby," Kendall whispers, and James feels like crying again.

A flash suddenly distracts them, and James whips his head to the side, "Turn off that fucking flash, Jackie!"

He turns back to Kendall, but not before seeing everyone's reactions.

They all looked shocked... and horny.

James grins. "You ready, Ken?" he whispers, and the blonde smirks.

James tosses Kendall on the bed, before crawling up his body, licking at the glitter. It actually tasted fucking good. Like chocolate covered strawberries with a hint of Kendall.

He bites down on the boy's nipple, and Kendall lets out a moan that James is pretty sure gave everyone in the room a boner... including himself. Kendall tugs at his hair, and James groans, licking and sucking every inch of Kendall's skin that was covered with glitter.

He drags his teeth along Kendall's V, the boy's hips bucking up. James buries his face in Kendall's erection, inhaling deeply. The blonde smelled... _orgasmic_. He literally has to peel the pants off his legs, his boner springing up, because they're both commando. Why not?

James stares at Kendall's body. He's become a man, and James wasn't there to see it. Although they were together before, this would be the first time they were having sex, and didn't James want that dick inside of him.

It was _fucking huge_.

He looks at the blonde's dick, that's lying against his stomach. He holds it, sucking the tip gently, hearing Kendall gasp out a broken "Jamie". He kisses the top of it gently, and Kendall groans, hand in James' hair tightening. He loves the taste of Kendall, he loves the moans Kendall is making, _he loves Kendall_.

James is moving up and down on Kendall's dick, humming softly, his gag reflex kicking in as Kendall's dick hits the back of his throat. Kendall's head is thrown back, against the pillows as he moans out, "F-fuck so good Jamie," thrusting faster and faster into James' mouth.

James is grazing his teeth along Kendall's cock, before sucking the top of it hard, and Kendall is thrusting up helplessly.

"J-Ja- I'm-" Kendall's spewing out random babble, but it's enough for James to understand, and he pulls up a little, as Kendall comes in his mouth, and James swallows it without hesitation.

Kendall has a soft smile on his face, as he brings James up for a kiss before flipping them over. He kisses down the side of James' neck, pulling off the bowtie and throws it to the side, tongue darting out to taste the glitter.

"Mmm," he says. "Chocolate and strawberries. _Delicious_."

Shudders are sent down James' spine when he says that. How could Kendall make one word sound so sensual? Kendall licks him, like a kitten, tongue darting out now and then to drag along James' skin.

And it's driving James _crazy_.

Kendall is wearing a 100 mega-watt smile when he reaches James' erection which is so painful, James is afraid he explodes. He watches Kendall as he moves down slowly, eyes on James as he bites down on James' clothed erection and a yell escapes James, pleasure shooting through him.

He rips off James' pants, licking his lips when he sees the brunet's erection spring free. He drags his tongue on the upside of James' dick, and the brunet shudders, before Kendall opens his legs and holds them up, practically bending James in half.

Kendall bends down and licks the puckered hole, and James bites his lip. This is fucking sexy, and he already feels as if he might come. The blonde licks it again, before sucking it hard, and the brunet is scrambling the find purchase on anything, and he grabs Kendall's bicep.

Kendall continues sucking on the hole and James can't believe, it feels so fucking good. His head is thrown back, the hand that is not holding Kendall, is clenching the sheets.

He's moaning like Kendall's bitch and Kendall sticks a finger in James, one, then two, before hooking it, and shoving them all the way in, hitting James' prostate. James' back arches, maybe he could be a part-time contortionist? He reaches down between his legs to try to relieve himself, but Kendall swats his hand away.

Kendall adds another finger, and he's fucking James with those three fingers, sliding them in and out, and James is rocking back and forth on them. He loves this so much.

"Kend- So good, babe. It feels so fucking good," James mumbles, and Kendall pulls out, smiling and kissing away James' pout.

He bends his head to whisper in James' ear. "You want me to go in bareback, baby?" he asks and James nods frantically, he doesn't really care, he just needs _something_.

Kendall lines up by James' hole, using his spit as lube, and he pushes in slowly, until he's fully sheathed inside of James. He's bigger than anything James has ever had and he feels so good. He pulls out and pushed back in slowly, although James is sobbing and begging for more, he refuses to go faster. He's drawing out the pleasure, for James, it's driving the brunet fucking _nuts_.

Kendall pushes in, stalling, swiveling his hips experimentally, and James' eyes shoot open wide, gasping for air as he rubs against his prostrate, pushing up against it. James makes a sound between a choke, a moan, and a yell, clenching the sheets, hips thrusting up to meet Kendall's movements.

Kendall's pounding out a rhythm, a steady beat against his ass, and James is drowning, he can't see properly, so he reaches out for Kendall, pulling him down to meet his lips. He bites Kendall's lip, scratching down Kendall's back, his nails digging into his hips.

Kendall slips a hand beneath James' waist, raising him up, and flipping them over, with James on top, and the brunet slams down onto Kendall's dick, falling forward onto Kendall's chest. Kendall moans as James clenches around him, gripping the boy's hips as he moves up and down on his dick.

To James, it feels bigger this way, anchoring him. It feels so _different_, stretching him more and he's going deeper and James can't _breathe._"Baby- _Fuck_," James moans out as Kendall strikes his prostrate perfectly. It feels so good, he moves up and down, before Kendall just holds onto the brunet's hips, and thrusts upwards multiple times.

James feels electricity running though his veins, his heart racing, as Kendall pounds upwards into him. He rests his hands on Kendall's chest, supporting his body, their moans echoing throughout the room. It's more intense than James has ever experienced. Kendall's hips slow, before speeding up again, and _fuck_ does this guy ever get tired?

With every shove he breathe Kendall's name, palms bracing on his chest, and James can't stop moaning and groaning out his name like it's a mantra. Like it's the only word left in his vocabulary.

Kendall grips his hips, and their eyes meet, and there's some sort of unspoken connection between them, but James doesn't care. He's _sobbing_, it feels so good. There's a rising euphoric feeling in him, one that he can't keep down.

This has _got_ to be the shortest sex scene he's ever done, but he can't keep it in, he loves the feeling of Kendall inside of him.

James could feel his orgasm hitting him, the euphoria rising in him, the uncoiling in his stomach. Kendall never slows, and the orgasm rises in James like a wave, pulling him under.

He grinds down on Kendall, desperate and wanting for his orgasm to hit. It feels so good, as he clenches around Kendall, the boy's fingers digging into his hips as he moans loudly.

"Ken- I'm gonna-" he barely has time to groan out before he comes, spurting out on Kendall's chest, seeing white for a few seconds, as he comes harder than he's ever done.

He falls on Kendall's chest, and the blonde thrusts up a few more lazy times, before coming, filling the brunet to the brim, cum dripping out, rolling down James' thigh.

James looks Kendall in the eyes, and something has changed, but they don't know what. And as Kendall's going to say something-

"Okay, cut!"

James looks up. He totally forgot that this was a sex scene. He scrambles off Kendall, grabbing the towel Jackie's handing him, and wipes himself with it.

The entire crew's looking at them, most of them looking horny, and some guys' dicks out shamelessly, cum splattered over their hands.

James rolls his eyes, walking out the room, going back to look for Calypso, and his clothes. Kendall enters behind him, and he can't meet James' eyes. James is a little unsteady from that fantabulous orgasm, and he looks at his pants in dismay.

"Um... Calypso," James says softly.

The girl looks at him, eyebrow raised. "I can't bend down," he whispers, and she laughs, coming to help him pull up his pants.

After a little pain, a lot of pulling and tugging, James finally has his pants on, and Kendall is fully dressed. He's wearing knee-length black jeans, white vest, and a Choose 180 necklace.

A Choose 180 necklace that James gave him for his 18th birthday.

James feels like crying, looking at Kendall, studying his features, his chiseled jaw, gelled hair, and pale skin. He's beautiful, and James just wants to touch him. He resists the urge, slipping on his jersey, and tying on a bracelet that Kendall had made for him when they were fifteen.

Kendall sees it, and his eyes are wide. "You still have that?" he breathes, and James is distracted for a moment by his perfect pink lips.

"Why wouldn't I?" James responds, cause honestly, he's confused.

Kendall looks at him, swallowing hard, before disappearing through the door, without giving James a chance to call him back.

James stares at the space that Kendall had previously stood. He remembers what Kendall had said.

_Jamie, I forgave you the second I saw you yesterday._

Was it just the heat of the moment, or was Kendall lying?

...

It was an obsession James has developed.

Okay, it's more like an infatuation.

He rubs his hand over his face as he closes the... twentieth? porn scene with Hot Fuss and Lovesick Electric.

Aka Kendall, and his co-star, Tyler St. James.

It turned out that Kendall wasn't the head porn star at Men . com. He's half of the head porn _duo_.

And James can't stop watching their videos. They're perfect together, James can see that. He looks down at his softening cock in dismay, grabbing the hundredth paper napkin to wipe himself up.

He read somewhere that a teen masturbated and orgasm-ed forty-something times in a row, and he died... maybe James should stop now.

But he can't stop the jealous pang he gets every time he sees Kendall making out with Tyler. He sighs, standing up, his legs feeling like jelly.

He misses Kendall. He misses their corny jokes, he misses all the times they shared together. He misses everything. It's his entire fault.

How is he going to fix it?

* * *

"Hey James!" Jett calls out to the brunet as he enters the building. James walks up to him, looking around for Kendall.

"Where's Kendall?" James asks, and Jett raises an eyebrow. "He's in the conference room. You need to come too."

James nods, following Jett to the room. It's pretty amazing, how people don't usually see what's behind the scenes to porn sites, there's so much more than porn stars and lots of sex. He enters the room, immediately looking for Kendall. The blond is sitting in a chair, talking to Logan animatedly. By the look on Logan's face, he was still shocked that his... _their_ leader turned out like this.

James takes a seat opposite Kendall, nodding a greeting to everyone, meeting Kendall's eyes for a second, before turning back to Jett. There's just a few more people in the room, heads of different sections, and a few head porn stars.

"We are going to launch the new video in a few hours," Jett announces, hands placed flat against the desk as he leaned on it. "We have sent it to a few of our sponsors already, and it's come back with amazing reviews. Here," he says, tossing two folders to James and Kendall. "Normally, everyone would be able to see the reviews, but I think James and Kendall would want to keep those to themselves," he smiles at them both, and James is almost afraid to open the folder. Jett continues talking, but James opens the folder, looking at the printed reviews, heart racing.

_"Usually sex scenes look almost emotionless, but this one is filled with so much emotion. It's real. It's just the thing we've been looking for, for years." _

_"Perfect. Those two boys portrayed it perfectly. It was almost, if I may say, as if they were in love."_

_"Did not disappoint. That video is an amazing way to kick off the gay section of your website. It was real, so real, and I, as well as my team loved it."_

The reviews continued like that, some even asking if the boys were in love. James looks up at Kendall, eyes wide, but the blonde isn't meeting his eyes. He _can't_ meet his eyes. James swallows, hard, before turning his attention to Jett.

"-and therefore we're going to be hosting a party tomorrow night. Everyone is invited. Jackie is in charge of the invitations, Logan is in charge of the invitees.-"

Kendall cuts him off, standing up. He walks over to Jett, whispering something in his ear, and Jett nods slowly, then the blond walks out without a glance to James. James swallows back tears, before he realizes that Kendall had left his folder.

...

Jett smiles as he raises his glass to the crowd facing him. "We used to be known as the #1 website for many years, before our rates dropped tremendously because of our lack of the gay section in our website. So thanks to the help of Men . com, and Kendall Knight, the number of subscribers has quadrupled, practically overnight. We owe it all to Kendall, and our own, James Diamond."

Applause echoes throughout the room as he pauses. "So today we are going to enjoy ourselves and, remember, we have over a hundred bedrooms. Please make use of them." He winks at the crowd, who laughs before music blares and the lights dim.

James turns to Kendall, a small frown on his face. "Kendall, we need to talk."

The blonde nods, before walking ahead of James. He's wearing a black leather jacket, open, with nothing underneath, and black pants that hug his ass perfectly. They enter a room, and James locks it behind him, not that he'd care if anyone saw them.

Kendall turns around, hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes wide and cautious. James bites his lip, looking over at Kendall.

"What happened to you, Ken?" James asks softly, and Kendall looks down.

"I'm not sure... I think I just went into a mental breakdown after you... after we broke up. I met Ty... Tyler, and we sort of hooked-up, and then he introduced me to this porn thing, and everyone loved me so..." Kendall trails off, shrugging. "When you saw me the first time, that wasn't really me. My manager told me to dress to impress, and I really wanted to impress. I was so fucking nervous it wasn't funny," he says, forcing a laugh, and James' eyes widen.

"Baby, I'm so sorry," James says, tears in his eyes, and Kendall is across the room in less than a second, cupping James' face in his hands.

"Jamie, you really need to stop saying that. I know you're sorry," he says, stroking the side of James' face. "It's just that the past 3 years have changed us both, babe."

James chokes, leaning into Kendall's touch. "I know," he says softly, feeling tears in his eyes. "But baby, I'm willing to try."

Kendall looks at him with wide eyes, and James can't stand it, he moves in and kisses Kendall, slow at first, before adding pressure. They're practically drinking each other's love and lust in, stumbling over to the bed.

Kendall wraps his legs around James, pulling the boy tight against him, thrusting upwards. They're rolling against each other and Kendall's moans echo throughout the room as James sucks his neck, biting and licking, moving downwards, not even bothering to take off Kendall's jacket. He kisses his way down Kendall's torso, the boy gripping his hair tight.

They need it so bad, James doesn't want to wait. There's something about here and now, that he doesn't want to lose. He rips off Kendall's pants, pulling off his own, as well as his shirt, then moves up to the blonde to give him a kiss.

"Take me, Jamie," Kendall whispers and James swallows, hard, because the blonde's green eyes are dancing with something different and unknown, and if James could capture this moment forever, he would.

James reaches down between Kendall's legs, to prepare him, but Kendall stops him, his head shaking, eyes wide and trusting.

James lines his dick up to Kendall's hole, pushing in slowly, past each ring of muscle. Kendall's tight, especially for a porn star, and James loves the feeling of heat pressing against his dick.

It's raw, but Kendall loves it, wrapping his legs around James' waist, hands around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss as the brunet begins to move. Kendall arches, his moans driving James crazy.

His head is thrown back against the pillows, pressing against them, as he gasps with every thrust. He moves down to meet James' thrusts, and James presses their foreheads together, kissing the blonde deeply, shifting slightly, hitting Kendall's prostrate.

"Fuck!" Kendall yells out, hands digging into James' shoulders. "Fuck fuck fuck _fuck_, Jamie," he moans as James slams into his prostrate.

Kendall is literally writhing under him, nails scratching down the brunet's back, digging him with every thrust. He clenches around James and James moans out loudly, driving into Kendall with more passion.

James loves the feeling of this, the feeling of Kendall wrapped around him, he can feel his orgasm rising like a flame in the pits of his stomach. He tries to hold it down, but Kendall moving under him is too sexy, and he just can't.

Kendall tightens around him, and James can't help it, he knows he's gonna come, and he does, filling Kendall up, the boy a tight wrap around his dick.

Kendall follows right after, yelling James' name, fingers gripping the boy's shoulders. James collapses next to him, trembling from that orgasm.

He turns to Kendall, who is smiling at the ceiling.

"Hey," he says softly, and the blonde turns to face him. "Why are you smiling?"

He's captured by the blonde's eyes which are sparkling. The blonde's smile gets wider. "Why can't I smile? I just got my best friend back."

James grins, looking down, intertwining their fingers. "Kendall..." he says, looking at the blond, who's smile vanishes in a second. "Kendall, I-"

_Kendall, I love you._

He's cut off by a wide-eyed Kendall, who's scrambling up from the bed, as if he knew what James was going to say. "James, I can't do this now. I need to meet Jett _right now_."

James covers his face with his hands. "Why, Kendall?" is all he asks, feeling the urge to cry. Kendall didn't want him back. Kendall _never_ wanted him back.

There's a pause, and James moves his hands from his face, to see Kendall staring at him. James gets off the bed, moving over to Kendall's who's already wiped the cum off his chest, and dick. James stands in front of Kendall, eyes in slits. "Why don't you want me back, Ken?" he asks, and Kendall frowns, swallowing hard.

"Who said I didn't?" he asks, softly, so softly that James barely heard.

Kendall moves away from James, head down, pulling on his pants, and fixing his jacket. James catches his hands as he does, folding them in his hands. "So why can't we try?"

Kendall looks down at their hands, before looking back up, tears in his eyes. There's some inner battle going on inside of him, James wishes he knew what it was.

"I can't, James," he says, and he pulls away from James walking over to the door.

"Why, Kendall?" James asks, feeling as if his soul is being ripped from him.

Kendall pauses, for just a second, before turning around. "I'm sorry," he whispers before leaving.

James sinks down on the bed, head in his hands. He's fucked up again, except this time he didn't fucking know what he did.

* * *

James walks into the building the next morning, feeling somewhat rejuvenated. He was going to win back Kendall, one way or another. The rejection was only because he didn't trust him, right?

He even had the song in his head. _One way or another I'm gonna win ya, I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha..._

He's rudely interrupted from his (wonderful) singing by some girls passing by talking loudly. "...I can't _believe_ he's getting married! He's such a good porn star, I can't..."

James tunes them out, scoffing. No porn star would get married, unless it was to another porn star. He rolls his eyes, then sees three people standing at the end of the hall. He makes out Kendall and Jett, and holy _shit_. Is that Tyler St. James, Kendall's co-star?

It was. James' eyes widen. The guy is wearing clothes so tight, it looks like it was painted on him. Those thigh muscles were to _die_ for. He probably worked out five times per hour, with the body he had.

So obviously, James immediately doesn't like him.

"Hey," Tyler says, walking up to James, a huge smile on his face. It's really hard to not like the guy. His eyes were ocean blue, sparkling and kind. "James, is it? That video was _amazing_. You two looked really sexy."

James smiles back at him. "Thanks," he says, looking over Tyler's shoulder to Kendall, whose blushing and looking at his feet.

"Hey babe, are you going to invite him? Aren't y'all old friends?" Tyler says, turning to Kendall.

James is surprised that he isn't bothered by Tyler calling Kendall "babe". They were co-porn stars, after all.

"Invite me to what?" James asks, looking between the both of them, back and forth, confused.

"He didn't tell you? We're-", Tyler says, and James realizes that he has a hint of a southern accent. It's actually kind of cute.

"Ty," Kendall breaks in, stepping forward. Suddenly he can't meet James' eyes, and James gets the feeling that something bad is gonna happen. "Let me tell him."

He bites his lip and looks down, before gaining courage and looking into James' eyes, sorrow and guilt written in them.

"James, Tyler is my fiancé."

* * *

**uh... *awkward laugh* this is the longest one-shot I've ever written wow... ****review please? Tell me what u think :)**

**xoxo**

**Chelzi**


	2. Chapter 2

**I know this was due way earlier, BUT... here it is (finally!), the second chapter of Hot Fuss... I wasn't going to do this chapter mainly because it requires so much backstory and emotions, but y'all begged, so here we go... I took 2 weeks+ to write this, and I really, really hope you guys like it :) I introduce Carlos in this chapter because he's so adorable and cute, I couldn't leave him out :) Also, more of Logie bear, plus this chapter has just as a teeny bit of Jett/Dak fluff, just cause I can ;)**

**Before, I didn't say what my 'gay source' was, but I got yelled at, so thank you, my darling, my very, very gay cousin (and best friend) Brandon :D**

**Disclaimer: Let's see... I don't own McDonalds, Tyler St. James, Torchwood, the name Hot Fuss. ****I also don't own What About Love by Austin Mahone. ****There's also a few lines I stole from Cassandra Clare's The Bane Chronicles #2: The Runaway Queen, and yeah, I don't own them either.**

**The songs used in this story (in order, obviously) are Larger Than Life by Backstreet Boys & Six Degrees of Separation by The Script **

**At some point in the story I use B&D/S&M. I know some people mightn't know what they mean (even though Rihanna sang an entire song about S&M). B&D means bondage and disciple, and S&M means sadism and masochism. Basically Fifty Shades of Grey stuff.**

**Allons-y! (or Geronimo, whichever you prefer) ****If you totally get that reference, I probably love you :)**

**Anyways... Enjoy ****:) (and remember... I didn't promise that it would end happy :P) Sorry for the long-ass A/N ... I'll shut up now .-.**

* * *

_Guilt isn't always a rational thing._ _Guilt is a weight that will crush you whether you deserve it or not._ - Maureen Johnson, Girl At Sea

* * *

**August 9th, 2011**

Kendall walked into McDonalds, twisting his face at the bunch of screaming children in the store. He rubbed his head, sighing loudly. He was trying to get away from everything, and he landed in a bunch of screaming monkeys.

Wonderful.

He pushed his way through them, landing gratefully by the counter, the cashier smiling at him. Kendall had to restrain from slapping that smile off his face. What the fuck was he smiling for?

"Just get me a Big Mac combo," Kendall mumbled before the boy could say anything.

The boy frowned, before looking back up at the blond, forcing the smile back on his face. "That'll be-"

"I'm not stupid. It's right on the screen behind your fucking head, jackass," Kendall growled, fishing six dollars out of his pocket and slamming it down on the counter. "Keep the change. Buy yourself a brain with it, won't you?"

And with that, he turned, wading through the sea of children, ignoring the shocked looks on the cashier and the parents who heard him. He didn't care. Why would he? He'd just been cheated on by the love of his life. Wasn't he good enough? He was numb, he just wanted to get up and yell out all his emotions at everyone standing in that diner.

He shook his head, trying to clear his head. _Get a grip, Kendall. Get a fucking grip._

He strode faster, trying to reach the back of the diner, just wanting to get in his own corner, just to think by himself.

His head was ducked down, trying to blink away tears, when suddenly, his foot is caught in some sort of strap, and he's falling. His hands flailed, thinking that, _fuck, this is gonna hurt_, but then someone caught him, and he crashed into a hard chest, arms wrapped around him.

He looked up, into sea blue eyes, and a soft face. Kendall stumbled back, hands gripped tight on the biceps of the boy who caught him.

"Hey, are you okay?" the guy asked softly, and Kendall could only stare as he heard the soft southern accent.

Kendall nodded rapidly, unable to speak. The boy was beautiful, in a chiseled way. He was almost perfect.

"I'm so sorry," the boy said, "I left my bag in the aisle. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," Kendall said breathlessly, staring into the boy's eyes. "I am now."

"Here, have a seat," the boy said, smiling brightly. Kendall sat opposite him, unable to keep his eyes off the guy.

"So, what's your name?" the boy asked, and Kendall smiled shyly.

"Why should I tell you? You could be a creep," Kendall said, unable to believe what just came out of his mouth. He blushed as the guy laughed, sitting back and relaxing, Kendall staring at his tight-fitting clothes that clung to his body in every single place.

"If I were, you're totally worth stalking," the guy said, winking at Kendall. The blonde blushed bright red, ducking his head as his cheeks flared.

He cleared his throat. "My name's Kendall," he said softly.

"Kendall," the boy repeated, almost as if he were caressing the name, and Kendall's heart raced.

"Aren't you going to tell me yours?" Kendall asked, small smirk playing on his face, head tilted to the side in curiosity.

"Of course, how rude of me," the boy said, stretching his hand across the table, and Kendall clasped it, loving the warmth.

"The name's Tyler St. James."

* * *

**Two years later**

_All you people can't you see, can't you see__  
__How your love's affecting our reality__  
__Every time we're down__  
__You can make it right__  
__And that makes you larger than life_

James groans, looking over at his (annoying) phone, wincing as Backstreet Boys blares loudly, echoing throughout the room. He turns over in his bed, fumbling for his phone, answering the call.

"_What_," he growls into the cell. Today was _so_ not his best day.

"Hey, James," Jett chirps, a little too cheerfully and James just wanted to punch him in the face.

"What the fuck do you want, Jett," James says coldly, and probably, some other time, he'd actually give a rat's ass that he was talking to his _boss_.

Jett sighs, and James instantly gets the feeling that he was going to tell him something bad. He gets up from the bed, sitting with his elbows on his knees.

"Well..." Jett prolongs, but James really didn't have any more patience left in him for anything.

"Just say it, Jett," he replies, feeling tired. After what happened yesterday, he really didn't think anything else could make him feel worse.

"James... Kendall asked for your address and I gave it to him," Jett says rapidly, but James hears every single word clearly. "He's on his way over right now."

James sucks in his breath. "Jett, you're a _fucking idiot_," he yells into the phone, and Jett tries to apologize, but it's too late. The doorbell sounds, echoing throughout the house.

"Fuck," James mutters, getting up from his bed, pacing on the floor, running a hand through his hair. "Jett, I'm gonna kill you."

"James, wait! There's something else you need to know," Jett starts, but James has had enough of him. He hangs up the phone, walking to the door, emotions boiling inside of him, heart racing.

He opens the door, slowly, stomach sinking when he sees the blonde standing outside. His golden hair is ruffled adorably by the wind, his eyes, a bright green, but weary. There are dark spots beneath his eyes, as if he hadn't slept at all the night before.

James swallows hard, not knowing what to say; he hadn't spoken to Kendall since yesterday, when the blonde had practically broken his heart. He'd just stormed off, ignoring the calls of Jett and Tyler, waiting for Kendall to call after him, to say his name, anything.

He never did.

"Can I come in?" Kendall asks softly, and James could only stare. Kendall's so beautiful, to James, he had no flaws. He was painfully perfect in every single way.

"What do you want, Kendall?" James replies, his voice cold, pushing down the wild emotions inside of him.

Kendall looks lost, he reaches a hand out to James as if to say something, but lets it drop back down by his side.

"I just wanted to know if you wanted to do it," he says, and James is so confused, he could only gaze at the blond, eyebrows furrowed.

"Jett didn't tell you?" Kendall asks, and James shakes his head slowly. A strong breeze blew, playing with Kendall's hair, and the scent of blueberries hits James like a wall. Ten years later, and Kendall still refused to use anything besides blueberry shampoo.

It made James want to cry.

Kendall sighs, and James is rudely pulled back into reality. "James..." Kendall says, and James could feel chill running across his skin. He doesn't know what Kendall's going to say, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't scared.

"Jett wants us to do another sex scene."

* * *

"What. The. _Fuck._" James slams his hands down on Jett's table making him jump.

"James. Christ. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Jett says, looking bewildered.

James narrows his eyes. "If it stops you from making me and Kendall do another scene, then yeah. Have a hundred heart attacks, I don't care. I'm not doing it," he says, and Jett sighs. He'd expected James to be upset, but this... this was more than he'd bargained for.

"James-"

"You don't _understand_, Jett," James says, straightening up, and passing a hand over his face. "I love him. Even after all these fucking years, I still love him. And it hurts, it hurts so, so much."

"James-" Jett breaks in, staring behind James, but the brunet doesn't notice, he just keeps on rambling.

"I _love_ him so fucking much," he repeats, and this time another voice comes out from behind him.

"James," the voice is soft, and so familiar. James freezes, turning white as a sheet, going cold. He turns, to see Kendall staring at him, almost as if he'd never seen the brunet before, as if he were a stranger that he'd never seen before. James looks away, flushing, but Kendall continues staring at him, helplessly.

"Kendall," Jett interrupts, but the blonde doesn't hear him. He repeats himself a few times before Kendall turns, ripping his gaze from James, looking at Jett as if he never realized he was in the room. "Do you want to do the scene?"

_No_, James thinks, he thinks it over and over and over, hands clenched, trying to send a telepathic message to Kendall. Don't they see that this scene will destroy them both completely? _No._

"Yeah," Kendall says, and it's James' turn to stare.

"James..." Jett trails off, and James looks at Jett, a silent plea in his eyes, and Jett feels sorry for the boy.

"Kendall, can I talk to James alone, please?" Jett says, and the boy immediately nods, as if he couldn't wait to get out the room.

And all James could do is stare at Kendall's back as he left, trying to figure out how much he fucked up this time.

...

"Jett..." James says, trailing off, not sure what to say, not sure what he _could_ say.

"James, I know you don't want to do this, but it's your _job_," Jett says, and James runs a frustrated hand through his hair, sinking down in his seat, letting out a aggravated groan.

Silence falls upon them, almost deafening. Jett sighs, turning up the radio, hoping for a good song, when-

_First, you think the worst is a broken heart_  
_What's gonna kill you is the second part_  
_And the third, is when your world splits down the middle_  
_And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself_  
_Fifth, you see them out with someone else_  
_And the sixth, is when you admit you may have fucked up a little_

James raises his head slowly from his hands slowly, sending a death glare to the radio on Jett's table, getting up and smacking it to the ground.

"James!" Jett protests, but James was glaring daggers at him.

"The Script does _not _help, okay?" James growls out, and Jett holds up his hands in mock surrender.

James sinks back down into the chair, staring at the ground for what seemed to be an hour before- "I'll do it," he announces, and Jett frowns.

"Are you sure?" he asks, and James shrugs, and it's supposed to be careless and carefree, but he seems too tense.

"Yeah," James says, smiling slightly, the smile tinged with sadness. "It might be the last time I see Kendall. I want to make the most of it."

...

Kendall stands outside the door, not sure what he should do. He feels like crying, but he didn't even have the strength to do that. James still loves him. He should've realized. He was so, so stupid. This was his entire fault. He was the one who told his manager that he wanted to do the scene with James. He passes a hand through his hair, sighing loudly.

"Kendall?" a soft voice says, and he turns to see Logan standing there, staring at him as if he were a stranger. He feels ashamed, he used to be the leader of their 'group', now look at him. He can only stare at Logan, staring at the boy's manly features, thinking about how much he'd changed since they'd last seen each other. And that had been about three years ago.

"What happened to you, Kendall?" the brunet asks, moving closer to the blonde, eyes narrowed to slits, but Kendall can't answer the question. What could he say?

"Logan-", he starts, but the brunet cuts him off, looking away as if he can't bear the sight of the blonde.

"Why'd you leave us Kendall?" Logan asks, his voice like ice, cutting Kendall to the core. "I mean, yeah James cheated on you, but did you stop for one fucking second, and think about how you leaving affected Carlos and I?" Logan grits out, glaring at Kendall, and Kendall feels lost, and he doesn't know what to say. He just feels guilt weighing down on his chest.

"When you left, we all fell apart. What were we supposed to do, Kendall? On Saturdays, you and Carlos used to go to the rink together. The Saturday after you left, Carlos still went. He slid on the ice, crashed into the sideboard, and broke his foot. He lay there, and when they found him, he'd almost died on pneumonia. His foot was so badly infected that now he can't even walk, Kendall. _He can't walk_." Logan spat out, and Kendall freezes, his heart stopping, and he can't think. This can't be true. It couldn't be. He would've heard about it somehow. "And do you know what he said in the hospital? He said _maybe Kendall would come now_. But you never did, you selfish bastard."

Kendall can't think. He passes a hand over his face, tears gathering. "Carlos... Carlos can't walk?" he asks unbelievingly. It seems almost like a dream. A nightmare.

"It's because of _you_ that Carlos can't walk," Logan growls fiercely. "It's because of _you_ that I can't go to medical school, because I have to take care of Carlos. It's because of _you_ that James almost killed himself-"

"Logan, that's enough." James' voice is soft and commanding, unlike Logan's, which had risen to a wavering shout, his veins raised, neck red.

All Kendall could do is stare at James, tears dripping off his cheeks. He sniffles softly, wiping the tears away slowly, unable to meet James' eyes.

_It's because of you James almost killed himself_ is stuck on repeat in his head, and he wants to do something, anything, but he doesn't know what.

"James..." he starts softly, but James doesn't look at him.

"Jett wants to see you, Kendall," James says before the blonde could say anything else, walking off with Logan, leaving Kendall with his mind... and heart, racing.

...

"Kendall, are you okay with this?" Jett asks, but the blonde's off in his own world of self-hate.

"James tried to kill himself," he mumbles, unsure whether he believes it or not, but then he sees Jett's eyes widen, and he leans forward, staring at Jett.

"What happened, Jett?" Kendall asks softly, eyes pleading for the truth. Jett swallows visibly, Adam's apple bobbing. It was obviously not something he liked talking about.

"I don't think we should talk about it, Kendall," Jett says softly, a soft plea for Kendall to stop, because it was too painful to even think about. But Kendall wants to know, he _needs_ to know.

The blonde stands, hands slamming on the desk, sound ricocheting around the room. "Of _course_ we have to fucking talk about it, Jett. James tried to _kill_ himself, and even though we're barely friends, I still care a lot about him." Kendall trails off, sitting, head in his hands. "I care too much about him," he says softly, looking lost.

Jett sighs, wondering why he was always caught in the middle of love triangles. It wasn't a place he liked to be in too often, but here he was. "It was about 2 years ago James came here. He'd been working in a strip club, and I was looking for new people, and he turned out to be exactly what I needed. When he came here, he was so depressed. He did excellent sex scenes, got amazing reviews, but when he thought no one was looking, I saw his smile drop off his face, and he'd stare into space, lost.

"So, naturally, I asked him what was wrong. We became close, he talked to me about everything, how he felt. Always so lost, always as if he had no meaning in this world. Hopeless, unloved. He'd never mentioned you, but I figured it had something to do with a broken relationship, but I never pestered him about it. I let him tell me what he wanted to, and that was enough.

"One night I had gone to Nevada to visit my sister, and I had left him to house-sit in my mansion. When I came back home about five hours later, I found him lying on the ground, wrists slit open. I carried him to the hospital and they said that it would be a miracle if he survived. He'd lost too much blood and he'd OD'd on sleeping pills. Thankfully, I'd found him only about 15 minutes after he did it."

Jett rubs his face, as if trying to rub away the memory, but it was impossible. He can't get rid of the image of James lying on the floor, or the fear he'd felt when he'd discovered the brunet.

"They needed blood to clean out his system, get rid of the drug, and replace what he'd lost. He had the rare blood type, and on his file as his emergency contact, was a Kendall Knight."

"Oh God," Kendall mutters, a tear streaking down his cheek. "I'm the only one he knows with the same blood type. I should've been there. It's all my fault," he mumbles, burying his face in his hands.

Jett sighs, getting up from his seat and leaning up on the desk, opposite Kendall. "That night James was saved by an anonymous stranger, Kendall. No one knew his name, or who he was, but he'd walked into the hospital looking for James, and when he'd found out what had happened, he willingly gave James his blood."

Kendall shakes his head, covering his ears with his hands, sobbing.

"I don't know why you're here, Kendall," Jett says, suddenly finding no mercy in his heart for the blonde. All he saw was a selfish teenager who only cared about himself and his feelings. A teenager who had no mercy either, because if he did, he'd have given James a second chance.

"I honestly don't know why you're here," Jett repeats harshly, and Kendall wants to tell him to stop, but he's too overcome with grief and self-loathing.

"He's gotten over you, he's improved. He's moved on. He's stronger than he looks, Kendall, but you being here will just destroy him all over again."

* * *

Kendall walks into the boardroom a little cautiously. Everyone in there had picked a fight with him in the past few hours... well all of them, except for Jackie, Calypso and a few others he didn't care to find the names of.

"Hi..." he says, looking at Jett, who smiles at him as if nothing had happened, as if Kendall hadn't run out of his office just about an hour ago, tears streaming down his face. But that's what Jett's job was for, and well, what happened in the office, stayed in the office.

"Come in, Kendall," he says, and Kendall mentally groans when he sees that the only seat available was between James and Logan. He sits quickly, sinking in his chair.

"Firstly," Jett says, looking around the room, meeting everyone's eyes, except for Kendall's, who has his eyes fixated on his Vans. "Kendall and James, do you want to do the next scene?"

James and Kendall look at each other, silent communication, and James sends Kendall a tiny smile, which makes Kendall's heart somersault. James looks at Jett and nods, a strong nod without any hesitation.

"Kendall?" Jett asks, but all Kendall could think about is James' intoxicating smell, they were so close, Kendall just wants to reach out and bury himself in James...

It was a bad idea.

It was a terrible idea.

It was probably the worst thing he could do.

It was irresistible.

"Of course," Kendall says, and his heart races, blood pumping faster as he thinks back to their first sex scene, the feel of James wrapped around his dick-

"Now," Jett says, and Kendall clears his mind, flushing, sitting up straight. Thank heavens no one in the room could read minds. Except for Jackie, probably, because she looks at him with a knowing smile. "The last scene wasn't planned; it was more of an improvisation on our part. Although it had good reviews, we still want to plan this other scene. Probably some roleplay?" he asks, and Kendall looks down at his shoes again, trying to hide his blush.

He should be used to this, he's a freaking porn star, but he could never get used to people talking loosely and carelessly about him having sex with someone else. He casts a look over at James, and the brunet is staring into space, clearly thinking too much. Kendall slips a hand over to the brunet's thigh, holding the hand that rested there.

James looks sharply over at him, but Kendall's staring at Jett, suddenly interested in what he had to say. Their fingers intertwine, and a smile plays over Kendall's lips.

"Blowjob first?" Jett says, writing it down, before looking up, over at Kendall, who shrugged. He could've honestly cared less. All he wants his James below him, fucking him into oblivion.

"How about riding?" Calypso offers, looking amused, and Jett jots it down. They go on and on listing a whole set of impossible things that Kendall haven't even tried to do yet. But he just imagines James writhing beneath him, moaning, groaning, grinding against each other.

He'll fuck James until the brunet can't breathe, until he loses his senses, and the only one remaining is _Kendall, Kendall, Kendall_. He's gonna drill that cute ass of the brunet's-

"And James will top this time," Jett finishes, and Kendall frowns, his vision seeping away like water.

Then he shrugs. Top or not, he was going to make this scene fucking _count_.

* * *

"What are we wearing, Cal?" Kendall asks, as he sits in front of the mirror, and Calypso sprays his hair with something called... Cuda? Kendall laughs softly, as he remembers how much James used to love that shit, and almost as fast as the memories come, the pain follows, and he stops laughing immediately.

"What do you want to wear?" she asks mischievously, and Kendall grins at her. She's probably the only girl he's ever seen so... glittery. Glittery eyes, glittery hair, glittery clothes, glitter nail polish, glittery lip gloss.

"Nothing?" he asks, because hell, it's a sex scene. Clothes would just... hinder their progress.

Calypso laughs, and she shines as she throws her head back, the light catching her at every angle, making her sparkle. "You'll wear nothing... eventually," she says, smiling at him, and then James enters, placing a kiss on Calypso's cheek.

"Hey, Cal," he says, and she sticks out her tongue at him childishly. He twists his face playfully in return, and Kendall watches the exchange with amusement.

"It's going to be role play, so..." she trails off, and suddenly Kendall's scared of what she has for him. "Kendall's gonna wear a maid outfit, and James is gonna wear a half of a business suit."

James snorts, and Kendall flushes. "Do I _really_ have to wear-"

"Yes," Calypso replies before he gets a chance to finish his question. He slumps in his seat dejectedly, and Calypso slaps him on his head. "Sit up!" she commands, and he obeys, meeting James' eyes in the mirror, agreeing on one thing.

This scene was either going to make them, or break them.

...

Kendall looks absolutely fucking ridiculous, and he tells James so. He's wearing a short, short skirt with garters and stockings and worst of all? He was wearing a fucking thong. For the first time ever he's wearing a thong, and he's so fucking embarrassed.

James look as him, a slow lazy movement and Kendall shifts uncomfortably, as James just stares and stares at his ass, at the little skirt, and his stocking-ed feet, his bare chest that was sprinkled with edible glitter. "You... look... amazing..." James says breathlessly, and he tears his gaze away from Kendall's body, to stare at the blonde's bright green eyes. "You look so fucking amazing, Kendall," he says, and Kendall knows, he just knows that James isn't lying, but that doesn't stop him from being uncomfortable.

"So do you," he says, smiling, and he isn't being polite, he's being fucking serious. James is wearing a simple outfit of suspenders, a tie, and a pants, but it makes Kendall want to do him all the same. There was the same edible glitter sprayed on this chest, thanks to Calypso.

"Hi, I'm Lucy," a preppy girl comes up, smiling brightly at Kendall, totally checking him out. "I'm going to be your director today, and I'm _totally_ straight," she says, winking at the blonde, who flushes a deep red.

"Hey, he's mine, bitch," James says, but it's more playful than rude, and Lucy just punches him playfully, rolling her eyes.

"And you can keep him, asshat," she says, before beckoning for them to follow her.

"Asshat?" Kendall asks, and James snorts, shaking his head. They follow Lucy into a room that was designed to look as a kitchen.

"Okay, so lots of bending, banging, you know the drill," she says, winking at Kendall. Either this girl had something in her eye, or she just liked winking. "So, um, 'Mr. Diamond' comes home early to meet his maid, says that he's tired, maid offers to 'help him relax' and well... I'm sure you know how it goes from there," she continues. "I don't know, maybe some B&D? Or S&M?" she trails off, looking at James. "Because we could supply you with the toys," she says, but James shakes his head.

"I can't dominate Kendall like that," he says, and Kendall looks at James, a bit shocked, but the brunet is staring steadfastly at Lucy, who blinks, once, twice, before-

"What?" she says, confused.

"I can't dominate Kendall," he repeats. "I can top, or whatever, but I'm not going to do bondage or anything, okay?"

Kendall thinks about it, being tied up, and fucked raw, and hell yeah, he'd fucking love that, but looking at James, he realizes that James thinks that this is going to be their last time together, and he wants to make the best of it.

Lucy rolls her eyes, ushering them into the room. "Whatevs," she says, shrugging. "It was just an option. Anyways... have fun, 'k?" she finishes, winking at them and closing the door.

* * *

Jett sighs as he walks into the conference room for the second time that day.

He has a meeting with Kendall's manager now, and he really hoped that he wasn't the self-righteous bitch as claimed by almost all the people Jett had talked to (including Kendall and Tyler). He gives the guy sitting there, a slow smile, giving him a once over.

In the dealings between their companies, Jett only had the pleasure of talking to the secretary, but now here was the manager himself. He was modestly attractive, with messy (but extremely cute) brown hair, chocolate brown eyes and that body was something to _die_ for.

"Mr. Zevon?" Jett asks softly, before sitting uncomfortably in a chair, mainly because the idiot had taken his place in Jett's chair at the head of the table.

The guy rolls his eyes. "Who else would I be?" he asks snidely, and already Jett wants to punch him in the face. "But whatever. Call me Dak."

Jett already feels as if this is going to be the start of something beautiful. He snorts to himself. Yeah. Right.

"I want to know, Jett," Dak starts, putting his feet up on the polished marble granite table that Jett had paid a mint for. Jett narrows his eyes, and is ready to tell him off, but Dak doesn't give him the chance. "How is it that a simple scene between two boys, can have so much amazing reviews?" he says, staring at Jett, and Jett wants so bad to be rude, but Dak was basically the reason for the flourish of the company, so he has no choice but to be the nicest fucking person ever.

"I think it's because Kendall and James know each other, Mr. Zev- Dak," he corrects himself quickly.

Dak frowns. "What do you mean that they know each other?" he asks, confused, something that obviously didn't happen often, if ever.

"Kendall and James were together a few years back. They, um, they broke up, and now is the first time they've talked since then," Jett replies, feeling a little uncomfortable talking about someone else's personal life.

Dak purses his lip. "That makes sense, I guess," he says. "I mean, I saw the footage, and it was way more intimate that a usual sex scene."

Jett pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing loudly. "That's the problem. They still have feelings for each other, obviously, but Kendall is engaged."

Dak smiles, and it lights his face up, making him look years younger. "To James, is it? That's wonderful!"

Jett frowns. Either this guy was an idiot or... nope he was an idiot. He didn't even know what was going on in his own industry. "No... to Tyler, Dak."

Dak twists his face, moving his feet of the table (finally!), and leaning forward. "Kendall's engaged to Tyler? But their scenes are nowhere as good as Kendall and James," he says, and it seems as if the first time he's praising someone else's work.

Jett shakes his head, passing a hand through his hair. "I know," he says softly. "James is fragile," he continues, staring off into space, and he's not sure why he's telling a complete stranger this, but here he is, talking as if they were best friends. "He needs someone who will love him completely, and look after him."

"Someone like you?" Dak asks softly, and immediately Jett reacts, looking at him as if he were crazy.

"Me? Fuck no, Dak. I don't know about you, but I don't have relationships with my employees, okay?" he protests, and was there relief in Dak's eyes? Jett probably needs glasses.

"I'm sorry," Dak says, and they lock eyes for seconds, before Jett looks away clearing his throat.

"I need to go check on Kendall and James," he says before rushing out the room, confused and bewildered at what just happened.

...

"Kendall, James," Jett says, walking up to the two. He looks over Kendall with a huge smile on his face, and the blonde flushes.

"Where the hell were you, Jett?" Kendall asks, trying to get the man to stop laughing at him. It works. Almost immediately, the smile filters off Jett's face, replaced with a frown.

"I was in a meeting with Dak," he says, and this time, it's Kendall's turn to grin.

"Oh shit," he says, and Jett narrows his eyes playfully. "And you survived?"

Jett grins at him, the frown disappearing. He pinches Kendall's cheek. "Don't you look adorable," he says, and Kendall swats his hand away, rolling his eyes.

"Jett, what are we doing?" James butts in, trying not to laugh, and Kendall punches him playfully.

"Okay, okay," Jett says, taking a clipboard from Lucy. "Let's see. Kendall, give James a blowjob. Then, rimming, fingering, fucking on the table, fucking on the couch. That's it."

Kendall blinks, staring at Jett. "Rimming?" he says, and Jett looks at him.

"Problem?" Jett says, and Kendall flushes.

"No... It's just..." Kendall says, trailing off, and James looks at the blonde's slightly embarrassed face.

"Don't worry," James says," wrapping a hand around the blonde's bare shoulders. "It's gonna be fucking _awesome_."

* * *

Kendall bends over the cabinet trying to reach the back of it stretching his hand as far as it could go, trying to clean it properly.

"_That_ is one hell of a view," a soft voice drones behind him, and Kendall turns around, startled, knocking over a figurine from the cabinet, catching it before it fell. He looks back, seeing his boss, Mr. Diamond, staring at him.

"I-I'm sorry, Mr. Diamond," Kendall stutters, but the man waves him away. Kendall can't help but stare at the man's chest, at the hard muscles, moving under the light. He tears his gaze away, it was his _boss_, for heaven's sake.

"You know Kendall," Mr. Diamond says, staring at Kendall hungrily, and the blonde shifts from one foot to the other uncomfortably. "I'm really tired."

"I- Do you want me to get you a cup of tea?" Kendall says quickly, bustling over to the kitchen.

"No, no," Mr. Diamond says, walking over behind Kendall, leaning down to whisper in the blonde's ear, his breath ghosting over his face. "I mean I'm _really_ tired, and I want something to help me relax."

Kendall turns to his boss, who is uncomfortably close, and getting even closer, his eyes trained on the blonde's plump lips. "Sir!" Kendall squeaks, slipping out from under Mr. Diamond's gaze. "I can't- We can't- You're my _boss_."

"And your boss is telling you what to do. Follow orders, Mr. Knight, or you'll regret it," Mr. Diamond snaps, and Kendall's visibly shaking as he walks over to the brunet.

"What do you want me to do?" he asks softly, his head bowed, and Mr. Diamond puts his hands on either shoulder, forcing him to kneel, with one command.

"Suck."

Kendall gulps, before zipping down the pants slowly, his boss' cock springing out easily, it's size making Kendall's mouth go dry, and his eyes go wide.

He grips it softly, thumbing the head, moving his hand over it gently. He kisses it slowly, before sucking the tip hard, looking up to see Mr. Diamond's reaction. His boss has his head thrown against the cupboard, gripping Kendall's hair tightly, trying to thrust forward, but Kendall maintains a tight grip on his hips.

Kendall grips it, swallowing it in one go, thanking the Gods that he had amazing gag reflex. "Fuck~" Mr. Diamond groans out, and he tugs at Kendall's hair, pulling the blonde up and towards him.

"Mr- Mr. Diamond~" Kendall moans out as the brunet bites down on Kendall's jawline, passing a hand over the blonde's chest, tweaking his nipple.

"Just call me James," the brunet growls into Kendall's ears, and the blonde nods quickly, afraid that he would anger his boss.

James grabs him by his arm, throwing him towards the counter, forcing him to bend over the granite, spreading the blonde's legs. He moves the string of the thong, ripping the piece of cloth off the boy's body with his bare hands.

He spreads the cheeks of the blonde's ass, licking it once, twice, before sucking hard on the puckered hole. Kendall moans loudly throwing his head back, hand going back to grip James hair, trying to force him to suck harder and harder.

He sticks a tongue in, going deeper and deeper, eliciting guttural moans from the blonde, and Kendall's hoarse, but he can't help but love the thrills going through his body, one after other.

Then James shoves a finger in, and Kendall thrusts backwards, trying to get more of James, begging for more. He adds another, then another, and Kendall is groaning loudly as the three fingers scrape his insides, sending electric shocks up his spine. "Fuck, James~" Kendall moans out and immediately whines when the brunet pulls away, turning Kendall around.

He shrugs off his suspenders, pants falling to the ground. Kendall takes ahold of his tie, pulling him in for a deep, sloppy kiss. James runs a hand beneath the little skirt, and tapping Kendall's ass once, twice, before the blonde hops up, wrapping his feet around the brunet's waist, and James carries him over to the dining table, resting him on it.

He spreads the blonde's legs wide, fluffing the little skirt, admiring the puckered hole, before lining up his dick. James pushes in, stalling, swiveling his hips experimentally, and Kendall's eyes shoot open wide, gasping for air as he rubs against his prostrate, pushing up against it.

Kendall makes a sound between a choke, a moan, and a yell, clenching the sheets, hips thrusting up to meet James' movements. Kendall whimpers, used to being stretched, but he's still so tight. He grips the edge of the table tightly, knuckles turning white as James hits his prostrate, and he begs and begs for James to go faster, but the brunet refuses to.

He moves slowly, so slowly, in and out, and Kendall's sobbing from the sheer pleasure that he's experiencing as James moves in slowly, but jabbing his prostate dead on.

"Fuck, fuck, _fuck _Jamie~" Kendall moans out, and James can't hold himself back, he speeds up, ramming into Kendall, hitting his prostrate over and over and over and over, gripping his hips, and Kendall's yelling and moaning loudly, eyes scrunched tight in pleasure, but James can't close his, he wants to see Kendall's reaction, he wants to see Kendall's face as he comes.

"Please, James, _please faster,__" _Kendall's sobbing because he _needs_ this.

"Fuck, Kendall," James grunts out, unable to control himself in the tight warmth, speeding up, leaning forward a bit to rest his hand on the table, almost bending Kendall in half, and hitting the blonde in the prostrate over and over. The blonde screams, his back arching, and his right hand wraps tightly around James' arm, where it rested on the table while he plowed into Kendall with all the force he had.

"James, James, _James_," is all the blonde's mumbling over and over, it's the only consistent coherent thought in his mind. James is pounding against his ass, a staccato beat, and Kendall can't see, he can't breathe, he needs James so he pulls the brunet down, bending himself in half as he kisses James.

"We need to move," James whispers, and Kendall wants to tell Jett and Lucy and whoever that they could go fuck themselves, but they might actually do that. James rips off the skirt, before putting a hand beneath Kendall's back, lifting the blond, and his skin feels as if it's ripping from the wood, and he winces, but then James kisses him and it's all better.

James grins, snapping the elastic of the garter stockings, and Kendall rolls his eyes. "They make you look so cute," James whispers and Kendall blushes as James carries him over to the couch, laying him down before, covering him with his own body, reaching down and slamming into the blonde like he can't wait any second longer without feeling the blonde.

"FUCK!" Kendall yells, and his body arches into James' body, and he can feel a buzzing all over his body, a tingling everywhere, and there's an uncoiling in his stomach. "James~" he whimpers as the brunet absolutely _plows_ into his prostrate, over and over.

Kendall pulls him down, losing himself in the kiss, thrusting down to meet James' movements. And when James' hand slips between their bodies and grips Kendall's dick, Kendall wants to fucking _sob_, the pleasure is too painful, he's drowning, and his hands and feet wrap around James, trying to make the brunet go deeper and deeper.

His fingernails scratch against James' back, and the brunet is whispering in his ear, "c'mon baby, cum for me," his voice deep and sexy, and it goes straight to Kendall's groin, and he's exploding, his vision going white, fingers digging in as he comes all over his and James' chests. James follows soon after, the image of Kendall's face as he came forever embedded in mind.

"That was amazing," James breathes heavily, and all Kendall could do is nod, trying to catch his breath as he gets up from the couch, wincing slightly. James gives him a slow smile, and Kendall returns it, walking over to the door, taking the towel that Lucy's holding out for him, wiping his sweaty body. There's still tingles all over, his body still buzzing from that amazing orgasm.

"Cut!" a female voice breaks through their clouded minds, and Kendall sends Lucy a death glare.

"Hey, James," Lucy calls over to the boy who was already wiping himself also. He looks up at Lucy, coming over, as Kendall takes off the garter stockings. He's handed his clothes from a guy, and starts to put them on.

"We need an entrance song. Any ideas?" she asks him, taking the towel from both of them, and James pulls off his tie and starts to get dressed as well.

James thinks for a bit, and Kendall hopes that he doesn't choose any ridiculous song. He puts on his jewellery, shoving a hand through his hair, fixing it quickly, before walking over to James.

"That was, um. Better than I expected," he says softly, and James smiles at him, a smile that has hidden meaning behind it. He sticks out a hand for Kendall to shake, but the blonde pulls him into a hug, loving the familiar warmth that embraced him.

They hug for a while, before Kendall pulls away, feeling cold. "Well, um. I need to get back to, uh, to Tyler," Kendall says and James nods slowly. Kendall walks away slowly, head down, trying to sort out the emotions raging inside of him.

"Lucy," James says. "I've got a song. It's just the background I want you to use, though. No words, or anything."

Lucy smiles at him, and Kendall stops around the corner, leaning against the wall, waiting to hear what James was going to say. "Okay, shoot."

"What About Love by Austin Mahone," James says, and Kendall feels his heart sink all the way to the depths of his stomach, head bowing.

Giving up on James was proving to be harder than he thought.

* * *

The Next Day...

* * *

Kendall knocks on the door of the Garcia residence, bouncing on his heels lightly. The door opened, and Mrs. Garcia's eyes widened when she saw the blond standing out there, with a sad smile on his face.

"Kendall?" she whispers, almost as if he were a dream and if she'd talked too loudly or made any sudden movements, he'd disappear.

"Mrs. Garcia... Rose," he says softly, and she lunges forward, grabbing him into a huge hug. She kisses the top of his head, and he returns the hug, feeling safe in her arms.

"Kendall," she repeats, and she pulls away to look at the blonde, and there are tears in her eyes. "I've missed you so much."

Kendall smiles, ducking his head in shame. He'd forgotten all about the other people in his life, when he left James. "Rose, I'm so sorry for what happened to Carlos. I know it's all my fault-"

She cuts him off immediately with a look that made him feel ridiculous. "Have you been talking to Logan? He's the only one that blames you for this. I think it's because he has a little crush on my Carlitos," she says, winking at Kendall, and he smiles at her, a homely feeling beginning to spread in his chest. "Darling, no one blames you for what happened to my boy. It might have happened any way. Logan destroyed his entire career for Carlos, just to take care of him. A lot has changed Kendall, but I certainly don't blame you one bit."

There are tears in Kendall eyes, but he quickly blinks them away. Mrs. Garcia throws a hand around Kendall, ushering him inside. "I'm sure you'll want to see Carlos," she says, and the smile she offers isn't sad and depressed, but quite the opposite. "He's in Antonio's old room. I'm sure you remember where that is."

Kendall nods, and she ruffles his head, before heading off into the kitchen. He walks slowly towards the direction of the room, heart racing, afraid of what was going to happen.

What if Carlos hated him?

That was probably something he definitely couldn't bear.

He pushes the door to the room open, and there's Carlos, sitting in bed, reading a book. Kendall stands there, for a whole full minute, just staring at the Latino, before he looks up, eyes going wide.

"Kendall?" he whispers, and the blonde can't stand it, he runs across the room, embracing Carlos. The boy wraps his hands around Kendall immediately, and Kendall buries his head in Carlos' shoulder, trying to hold back tears.

"Carlos I'm so sorry," he says into the boy's shoulder, and the Latino freezes, pulling back.

"Kendall. What on earth are you talking about?" Carlos asks, and Kendall just gestures towards the boy's immobilized feet.

Carlos just laughs, and Kendall frowns in confusion. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Ken. Look, not being able to walk has good effects. I don't destroy things anymore, and plus, I've taken up reading," he says, holding up the book he had, A Tale Of Two Cities. "Darcy really needs to calm her men."

Kendall laughs, sitting on the side of Carlos' bed. "James said that he loved me," he says softly, and the smile on Carlos' face disappears almost immediately, being replaced with sadness.

"I know he still does," he replies, and his tone is grave. "What did you tell him?"

"I... I didn't... I couldn't tell him anything. I don't know what to say. I'm so confused, Carlos," he says, and he finds it so ironic, that before, Carlos would be the one coming to Kendall for help, and now it was the other way around.

"But you love him, don't you?" Carlos replies, and Kendall just stares and stares at him.

"I... I don't know," Kendall confesses, and before Carlos could reply, the blonde raises his left hand taking a deep breath. "I'm engaged, Carlos."

Carlos' eyes opened wide, mouth dropping open. "Wow. Um. That's... um..." he seems lost, speechless, before- "Who's the lucky guy?"

A stupid grin stretches on Kendall's lips. "Tyler St. James. He's my co-worker in... you know," he says, flushing, again feeling a bit ashamed.

"What about James?" Carlos asks softly, and Kendall stares off into space, remembering his past with James, how happy he had been, and how destroyed he had been when he saw James with that... that girl.

Then he looks back at Carlos, who he'd left behind, along with Logan and all his friends. He tries to sort out the muddle in his heart, but he's so, so confused about his feelings, so he answers the Latino with the only answer he could think of.

"I don't know."

...

Kendall walks into his house, smiling at Tyler, who's sitting on the couch.

"Hey, Ty," he says, greeting him, tossing his keys onto the counter, thinking of what Carlos had said to him, trying to clear his mind. "What're you watching? Is that Torchwood?"

"Yeah," Tyler says, patting the couch next to him. "You know I can't resist Captain Jack Harkness," he says, winking at Kendall, who laughs, sitting on the couch, curling into Tyler's body.

"Tyler..." Kendall says softly, unable to concentrate on the show. Tyler takes off the television, wrapping a hand around Kendall's shoulders.

"What's wrong, Ken?" Tyler asks, and Kendall holds Tyler's hand, playing with his fingers.

"I don't know what to do again, Ty," Kendall sighs, leaning into his financé's body. His heart ached for James, in a way it never had before. He'd always thought that Tyler was the right person to fill up the hole that James left, but now he was only realizing that Tyler was more like a temporary replacement. "Logan told me today that James almost killed himself, and that some random stranger gave him blood. Then I heard James say that he still loves me. I don't know what to do," Kendall repeats, gripping Tyler's hand hard.

"You still love him, don't you?" Tyler asks softly, and Kendall bows his head. He hates lying, so he doesn't say no. But at the same time, he doesn't say yes. He just stays there, wishing all this could just go away and he could be happy again.

"It's okay, you know," Tyler says, kissing Kendall's temple. "As long as you're happy, it's enough for me."

Kendall lifts his head in shock. "Tyler I'm-"

"It's _okay_, Kendall. I know you still love him," he says, and passes his hand through Kendall's hair, loving how the soft threads felt through his fingers.

But Kendall shakes his head violently. "I'm not giving up on you that easily, Tyler. I still love you. I _know _I still love you."

Tyler smiles softly, with a tinge of sadness, looking at Kendall through his eyelashes. "It was me, Kendall."

Kendall just stares at him, because he can't figure out what the fuck Tyler is talking about.

"I was the one who gave James the blood. When you'd told me about him, I'd gone looking for him, because I wanted to meet this amazing James Diamond. One of his friends had said that he was at the hospital. When I went, they said that he needed blood, so I gave it. Because I knew that he meant a lot to you, I wasn't hesitant to give it away."

Kendall sits there, his mouth hanging open, trying to process what Tyler said. "_You_ donated the blood. Why didn't you tell me, Tyler?!" Kendall growls, for some reason he's seriously fucking angry, but Tyler doesn't take him on. He just sits there, smiling softly.

"Because I knew you would go running back to him," he says, and Kendall doesn't disagree. He knows Tyler is telling the truth. If he'd heard about James, he'd be back by the brunet's side in an instant, and forget all about Tyler.

But still, "you didn't have to be so selfish," Kendall replies, standing and running a hand through his hair worriedly.

"Yeah. I know. That's why now, I'm telling you to go to him. He needs you, Kendall. God knows how much he needs you. And he'll make you happy," Tyler says, he'd never been one to get too attached to someone. Of course he loved Kendall, but it was because of that burning love inside of him for the blonde, that he wanted him to be happy. And it didn't matter who he was happy with.

Tyler picks up the blonde's left hand, taking off the engagement ring slowly, before moving it to the same finger on his right hand. "Here, keep it. Don't forget me, Kendall," he says softly.

"Tyler-" Kendall starts but the brunet smiles, pushing Kendall gently towards the door.

"You have a meeting with Jett now, Kendall," he says, and kisses the blonde on his forehead, before closing the door, and leans against it, sighing heavily.

...

Jett raises his champagne glass, smiling across to the crowd in front of him. "We are so excited, that our gay section is officially launched, thanks to Kendall Knight, and his manager Dak Zevon," he announces, glancing at Dak, giving him a wry smile.

The crowd claps, and Jett waits until it dies down before continuing. "And from now on, there will be a number of scenes planned for the gay section of our page, so guys, watch out," he says, and there's laughter before he makes a toast to Kendall and James. "And I know this is the second party of the week, so please enjoy," he finishes, going over by Dak.

"Kendall..." James says, flushing in the darkness, and he doesn't have to finish his sentence when Kendall nods.

"Let's get a room," he replies, and Kendall follows him to a room, and they enter, James locking the door behind them.

"James, I don't know what to say," Kendall says, flushing darkly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. James just shakes his head, walking up to the blonde.

"Kendall, just shut up," he says softly, moving closer to him.

Kendall looks at him, startled, eyebrows knitted. "What?"

"This might be the last time we see each other for a long time," James says, and he moves his face closer to the blonde, his breath ghosting on Kendall's ear. "Let's make the most of it."

He latches on the Kendall's neck, sucking hard, and the blonde's head rolls back in pleasure, gripping onto James for leverage. "James..." Kendall stutters out as the brunet's teeth graze along his collarbone, sending thrills of pleasure shooting down his spine. "James we need to talk..."

"Then talk," James says, dragging Kendall over to the bed. "I've got all the time in the world," he growls out as he rips the blonde's shirt open, sucking on his nipple, biting and licking. Kendall's mind goes blank, and his hands slip into James' hair, and he guides him further and further down, anticipation pooling in the depths of his stomach.

Then James stops, pulling off the rest of his and Kendall's clothes, his hot skin warming Kendall right to the core. James stops, his breath wrapping Kendall's dick in a warm glove, and desire takes over Kendall, but James is just tempting him. He moves away from Kendall's dick without touching it, and Kendall wants to say something, but then, in one fluid movement, James situates himself over Kendall's cock, slamming down on it.

Kendall jolts, the tightness of James' hole feeling amazing around his member. James has his head thrown back, there's no pain, he's so used to this now, but he needs to keep moving because he needs more of Kendall, he feels like he's drowning, and he reaches out to Kendall, gripping the blonde's arms as he moves up and down on Kendall's dick.

"James..." Kendall grunts out, hips moving up to meet James' thrust. "You're an idiot. You're a stupid horny idiot," Kendall says, and James grins down at him. Kendall stops moving, holding James' hips down, and with one deep, hard thrust, he buries himself in James, and the brunet's head lolls back, and Kendall almost loses it as James tightens around him.

"_Fuck_~" James moans out, and Kendall can't stand it, he flips them over, spreading James' legs, thrusting hard and deep.

Kendall whimpers as he feels James constrict around him, and he changes his angle, and James yells out. Kendall continues to hit that spot over and over, and James is practically crying. "Fuck James," Kendall moans out, and he flips them over, knowing James loved riding. And he loved James riding him. "You're fucking sexy."

James tosses his hair back, that had gone limp with sweat, trying to get it out of his eyes, grinning at Kendall. "I know," he says, before moaning, bracing himself against Kendall's chest as he moves up and down on Kendall's dick, burying himself as far as he could go.

"_Fuck_," he cries out, choking as he begins to move up and down on Kendall's dick, and the pleasure is too much, and before he knows it, he's coming, hard, bracing himself against Kendall's chest. Kendall stops moving, staring at James' face as it's thrown back in pleasure, unable to believe someone could look so beautiful.

James grins down at him, before carefully raising off Kendall's dick, bending down, and taking the tip of his cock in his mouth, sucking hard, and Kendall's mind blanks out, his back arching and he groans loudly. His hand goes down to thread in James' hair, and James wraps a hand around Kendall's dick, pumping it in time with his sucking and Kendall feels ecstasy rising in his stomach.

"James~" he groans out, thrusting up, and then he's coming, hard, into James' mouth, breathing harshly. James swallows it, licking the blonde's cock, causing him to buck involuntarily. James collapses next to him, breathing heavily as well.

"James... we really need to talk," Kendall sighs, mere seconds after James drops next to him. "I... I know you love me-"

"So what?" James says abruptly, and Kendall looks at him sharply. James pointedly ignores him, getting off the bed, tossing the blonde a box of tissues, and a bathrobe, cleaning himself, and wrapping up in a bathrobe as well, before laying down next to Kendall, who does the same.

"What do you mean?" Kendall asks softly, and James sighs loudly.

"It doesn't _matter _if I love you, Kendall," James says, passing a hand over his face. "You're engaged to Tyler and Tyler is so fucking attractive, so of _course_ it doesn't matter what I feel for you."

"What happened to the James Diamond I knew?" Kendall whispers. "The James Diamond who _knew_ that I liked him, and was so sure of himself."

"I've changed, Kendall," James says, and Kendall turns to his side, resting his head on his hand.

"James-" Kendall starts, but the brunet interrupts him, with a sudden burst of energy.

"Who are you gonna choose, Kendall?" James says, suddenly angry, and he's frustrated, this stupid, _stupid_ blonde has been playing with his emotions and he feels so fucking fucked up right now, he feels as if he's gonna go crazy.

Kendall turns on his side, looking into James' eyes. "James... Why did you try to k-" he stops, biting his lips, because he can't say it. "Why did you try to... kill yourself?" he chokes out, and James' eyes widens, and a hand goes up to cover his face.

"Fuck," he breathes, shaking head. "Kendall, I can't-"

"_Please_," Kendall whispers, a hand going up to turn James' face towards his, he needs to see the expression on James' face.

"I... My brain was acting stupid," he says softly. "I knew it was all my fault, but then I began to think that maybe you just wanted to leave me, and then I was going through our texts and our pictures together, and I guess everything just caved in," he finishes, looking at Kendall, and Kendall leans in, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"James..." Kendall says, and his heart and his head are having a full-on argument, but he blocks it all out. "James, I'm sorry."

And James feels his heart crashing, his anger being replaced with depression and disappointment. Kendall didn't want him, Kendall never wanted him. He bows his head, his eyes filled with tears, but Kendall takes a finger and lifts the brunet's head, looking into his eyes.

"I am so, so sorry," he repeats, kissing James on his cheek, his lips soft against the brunet's skin, and James wants to yell. Why is Kendall fucking with his emotions? Why couldn't he just leave James alone?

Kendall smiles a soft, sad smile, wiping the tears from James' face with his thumb, and when he speaks again, his voice is soft, but James hears every single word.

"I'm sorry I didn't choose you before, darling," he says, kissing James' forehead.

"Are you fucking with me?" James says, narrowing his eyes, and Kendall stares at him. Was this guy thick or just stupid?

"_No,_" Kendall protests, and James' eyes widen, as if processing what Kendall was saying.

"Say it," he says, and Kendall sighs, doesn't James see that he doesn't _need_ to say it? He opens his mouth to protest again, but James grips Kendall's hand tight. "_Say it_," he repeats, and Kendall smiles slowly.

"James Diamond, I love you so fucking much that it hurts."

And as James lunges forward to kiss him, Kendall knows that it's all better now.

**Okay, stupid ending, I know. Whatever. Anyways, every single one of these 10,600+ words (longest chapter EVER!) is for you awesome reviewers. I'm tired, I've been working on this for the entire of August, so I really hope you guys are happy (: There are so many ways that I was going to end this (and none of them had happy Kames at the end), but I decided to make you happy :)**

**Please review, I love you all :)**

**xoxo**

**Chelzi **


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